Rest is a boundary
I know: you hear about rest all the time. But for high-functioning women who are constantly responsible for other people’s needs, rest doesn’t always feel realistic or allowed. If you’re used to being the capable one or the one who always “just handles it,” this is for you!
Let’s name what’s actually happening.
Overfunctioning is not a personality
Over-functioning is a survival habit that’s been reinforced over time. Many of us learned to stay busy, helpful, and available because it felt safer than being still. The pattern starts early and eventually becomes the standard.
It can show up as:
Saying yes before thinking
Anticipating needs before they’re spoken
Carrying the emotional weight in every space you’re in
Feeling anxious or guilty when you try to do less
And here’s the catch: the world rewards this behavior. Our families (often unconsciously) rewards this behavior. What happens when it breaks you?
state your limit
One of my favorite books that I return to time and time again is “Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto” by Tricia Hersey. In it, the author calls rest a form of resistance. She’s right. When you choose to slow down, especially in a culture that tells you to do more and be more, you’re pushing back on a harmful system.
Choosing rest means:
You’re no longer available for everyone, all the time
You stop tying your worth to how much you can carry
You protect your energy before it runs out
You don’t have to be in crisis to take a break and you don’t have to justify needing recovery. Rest is not an emergency response—it’s maintenance and you get to choose your limits.
put it in practice
This week, pick one:
Cancel or move one low-stakes obligation. Something you’re doing out of habit or pressure? Let it go—or reschedule it on your own terms.
Pause before saying yes. When someone asks for your time or energy, don’t answer right away. Say, “Let me check and get back to you.”
Set a time limit. Decide when your workday (or caregiving duties) end, and honor that stop time without guilt.
Let that be enough.
join me for the Power of Creative Rest
If this hits home, join me on March 7, 2026 in North Carolina for a wellness conference called The Power of Creative Rest. We’ll walk through real ways to slow down, stop over-functioning, and rebuild rest into your life without guilt. You don’t have to burn out to deserve care.
You can rest right now.
Until next time,
V.